Strange animal warnings

Not at the table next to me, please

Disney's strange idea of pirates

Disney does not seem to have checked the job description for pirates.

Priority

But where do you sit if you are pregnant and you don't have foetal wi-fi?

Toys?

A few months ago I posted an image of knives displayed under a "Back to school" sign. In the same vein, here is an image of alleged "toys".

Virginal tacos

Although I have no intention of besmirching Mayans, my guess is that your exotic hand-rolled spicy tacos will be provided by Carlos.

You can't fault this advice

No longer a level crossing

OK, so this may not count as a silly sign, but it's still silly. 

Blame it on the contractor

The disabled parking bay appeared in Saffron Walden in 2011 and the other was painted in Romford in 2015. In both cases, it appears that a council contractor had been provided with a plan that did not show the lamppost. However, neither worker seems to have had the sense to query the plan before painting the white lines. And neither council had the guts to admit supplying a faulty plan.

So that's supper sorted

Or maybe not. 

One online definition of spooge is "a form of Caribbean music particularly associated with Barbados". Barbadian music in tomato sauce sounds good to me.

However, the McGraw-Hill Concise Dictionary of Modern Medicine defines spooge as “a fluid discharged from the body – often onto a freshly-changed bed”. And according to other online dictionaries, the word can mean "a sealant or lubricant applied during the assembly of electronic equipment", a "semi-liquid gunk" or semen.

So thank you, Tesco, but I might go elsewhere for tonight's supper dish.

Love these!

Can you sopt the errors here?

OK! So they're not exactly signs . . .

. . . but they are well worth sharing.

Doors . . .

A bargain for Jake the Peg

Lost in translation (2)

Oops! Presumably this Japanese outfit (a hairdresser maybe?) decided to use an online service to translate its message into English.

Park hater

This sign was a hoax by Jamie Maslin, author, adventurer and bushcraft survival instructor, who installed it on a bench in a London park in August 2013, shortly before he emigrated to Australia. Roger Bucklesby is a Maslin fictional character — a misanthropic failed author. When an image of the plaque was posted online it went viral within hours. 

Who am I to Dairylea?

Whoever produced this sign has caerphilly adapted the words of the Eurythmics song, Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This).

So where's the nearest phone?

Thank you muchly, ScotRail. But would it not make more sense to display a sign that actually points people towards the nearest phone rather than steering them to a separate information source? 

No thanks!

Don't ask me why, but somehow I am not tempted to sample the latest offering from this branch of Burger King.