So where's the nearest phone?

Thank you muchly, ScotRail. But would it not make more sense to display a sign that actually points people towards the nearest phone rather than steering them to a separate information source? 

No thanks!

Don't ask me why, but somehow I am not tempted to sample the latest offering from this branch of Burger King.

Exorcising dogs

I’ve never been fond of dogs, but until I saw this sign I had not realised they could be possessed by demons. My thanks go to Housing Pendle (www.housingpendle.co.uk) for this warning.

Since Housing Pendle bans canine exorcism on its own premises, perhaps it can recommend a suitable place to which dog owners can take their pooches to be purged of their devils. 

Lost in translation

In 2008, when Asda built a new supermarket on Clase Road in the Swansea suburb of Morriston, the city council decided to erect a warning sign to keep large lorries out of Pant-y-Blawd Road, a narrow residential road alongside the new development. 

According to the council website, only one-ninth of the city’s population speaks Welsh. Nevertheless, official road signs throughout Wales have to be bilingual, and so the council’s in-house translation service was asked for a Welsh rendering of “No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only”. Back came the prompt reply, “Nid wyf yn y swyddfa ar hyn o bryd. Anfonwch unrhyw waith i’w gyfieithu.”

These words were duly added to the sign, underneath the English words. Unfortunately, the council signwriters were clearly not members of the city’s small Welsh-speaking minority, because what those words actually mean is, “I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated.” 

After the few local Welsh-speakers had finished laughing, the council replaced the sign with one bearing more appropriate Welsh words. (“Dim mynediad i gerbydau trwm. Safle preswyl yn unig,” if you must know.) 

Serious yet silly

This placard promoting the 3 April 2014 issue of the Plymouth Herald managed to combine the weighty with the wacky.

Bup stop?

I am only aware of "bup" as an abbreviation for "backup". So is this bus stop in Bristol intended for buses travelling in reverse?  

So! Fisticated?

This image was tweeted by @hughlaurie , no less. It must be the sort of restaurant where they sit you on comphy sophas, pipe sopht music and pheed you phried feasant with phennel. And you can phinish your pheast with a decaph cophee.