We would also like to be excessively long-winded

This verbose sign was displayed next to a lifeless payphone in a north London supermarket. Why not just "Out of order"? Or maybe "Sorry! Out of order."

Lead me out of here!

This is the vision statement of the Central London Community Healthcare NHS Trust, as displayed in the foyer of Edgware Community Hospital. Confused? I was. Only when I checked the trust's website did I learn that the sign should have read: "To lead out-of-hospital community healthcare". Even then, the trust seems to be supplying its out-of-hospital healthcare from within a hospital. What's that all about? (And, incidentally, how does a hospital on the fringe of London — nearly 10 miles from Trafalgar Square — manage to be part of a central London NHS trust?)

Not my idea of automatic

If you have to push a button, doesn't that mean the door is NOT automatic?

But not very accessible wording

Why on earth "accessible access"? Why not just "access"? Or why not delete the last three words altogether? If the sign is intended to refer to access for the disabled, why not say so clearly instead of using mealy-mouthed "politically correct" language?  

Silly sales promotion

On this Sainsbury's special promotion in September 2011 you could buy three packs of Discovery Taco Seasoning Mix for only £4 instead of the normal price of three packs for an exorbitant £2.25. The three-for-£4 deal also applied to Discovery Spicy Refried Beans at 95p each. At the same time, Sharwood's Soy & Sesame Stir-Fry and Sharwood's Green Curry Paste were on offer at three for £3 instead of 99p each, giving a magnificent "saving" of minus 1p per pack.

Walk this way

So what other types of footpath are there?