Bargain offer

A great offer from Tesco. Buy any two of these £1.50 drink cans and you get a magnificent saving of exactly nothing!

Gained in translation

Apparently the line of Bengali text actually translates simply as "No loitering".

A plight to remember

 

Relics from the RMS Titanic lay on the floor of the Atlantic Ocean for a century before they were hauled up to star in a travelling exhibition. And now you can’t see them because they might have got damp!

Amazingly unremarkable

Branches of Poundland can now be found all over the UK, from Penzance to Elgin, from Dover to Londonderry. Their fascias used to bear slogans such as “EVERYTHING’S £1” or “yes! everything’s £1”. But now they declare “...AMAZING VALUE EVERYDAY”. 

What is really amazing is the slogan’s sloppy use of the word “everyday”. Look it up in any dictionary and you will find that it is an adjective meaning ordinary or commonplace or normal or usual or routine or typical or mundane or unremarkable or workaday. 

So Poundland seems to be offering amazingly unremarkable value. What the company means is presumably “amazing value every day”.

A "catergorical" error

Sheffield High School is an independent day school for girls in South Yorkshire. Early in 2013, inspectors from the Independent Schools Inspectorate found that the school met all the requirements of the Independent School Standards Regulations 2010. They did, however, make three minor recommendations for further improvement. Surprisingly, if this boastful sign is anything to go by, none of the suggestions related to the school's ability to spell difficult words such as "category".

Eat a veggie

If you are a carnivore and you hate vegetarians, you now have a chance to eat them at a Turkish restaurant in north-west London. This Hendon establishment serves its vegetarians grilled, accompanied by an assortment of vegetables.

Responsible drinking

This is a photograph of the label on the back of a bottle of Beck’s Blue alcohol-free beer. Yes, alcohol-free. No alcohol. 

So why does the label need to bear the slogan “PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY” and refer the drinker to the alcohol awareness charity Drinkaware? Surely anyone who chooses an alcohol-free beer is by definition a responsible drinker? 

Other producers of alcohol-free beers do not feel the need to include such a warning. (And in my experience their products also tend to be tastier, and cheaper, than Beck's Blue.)  

 

OGC? OMG!

In 2005, at a cost of £14,000, this logo was adopted by the Office of Government Commerce, a body set up by the UK Government to provide guidance on the procurement and acquisition process for public sector organisations. But a replacement design had to be hastily commissioned after the logo caused the Government some embarrassment. To see why, rotate the image 90 degrees clockwise. OK, I'll do it for you.

Not seen on the road to Damascus

Jesus wept! This is just one excruciating example of the many awful posters to be found outside English churches. Why do they do it? Do they really think that passers-by might experience a Damascene epiphany after seeing such icky contrived wordplay? Have they actually done any market research to discover whether such shallow jokey signs might increase church attendance? Couldn’t their funds be put to better use than producing pointless punning posters? 

Beware sluggish workers ahead

Why don't they employ faster workers and get the job done quicker? 

Useless warning

This sign, seen on the B3159 near Martinstown, just outside Dorchester, is apparently not quite as stupid as it looks, since it was actually a temporary notice referring to an out-of-action electronic signboard (not visible in the photograph) just before a sharp bend in the road. 

But, when you think about it, it is still stupid. Wouldn't it have made more sense to erect a temporary sign saying "Caution: sharp bend"?

Mystery bin

This recycling bin in Southwold, Suffolk, was surrounded by a number of other bins, including at least two each for clear glass, brown glass and green glass. So what exactly do you put in this one?